In the end, it all worked out perfectly. With Scott’s help, I was able to get “fired” which made me eligible for unemployment. The guys in Tech Support had all been given notice that the new company would be taking over their department and a hefty restructuring would soon follow.
“They’re not even interested in our current inventory,” Damon, the guy in charge of assigning company laptops said when he told me the news. “You’re lucky to get out of here, Liz. Shit, just take that laptop with you. They won’t miss it.”
Damon and I had a history. When I first started working for Bikram, I was in his office looking for a document when I noticed an email from the new Head of Human Resources sitting in his inbox. The subject line read, “Hi SEXY.”
I couldn’t believe it. Bikram and Susan Sherwin? Ugh! She was like sixty years old and he was married! Staring at the screen with my mouth hanging open, I fought the urge to read the email. I came from a household where privacy was so thoroughly respected, my mother would call to tell me she received a bill from my doctor and she didn’t want to open it without my permission.
“Mom!! You’re paying for it! Who cares if you open it?”
But she was adamant – never read anything that isn’t addressed to you.
I repeated this to myself as I double-clicked on the email to open it.
Sorry Mom!
It was short and simple and said,
I thought you’d like the attached picture of me…..see you soon sexy!
This was too much! I had to see that picture. Pushing myself back from his desk, I leaned to the right and looked through the glass window to see if anyone was coming. With the coast clear, I walked myself and the chair back towards his computer and clicked on the picture.
The screen flashed and went dark for a second while the computer made a strange burping sound. There would be no naked picture of our HR Director. Instead, a nasty virus was launched due to me and my nosiness.
I called Damon and gulped into the phone. “You have to get down here – NOW!”
Damon was awesome, cleaning up the virus and lying to Bikram who came back and wanted to know why we were both hovering over his computer.
“I noticed some strange stuff on your desktop, Bikram when I was installing some updates to the firewall,” he said, never taking his eyes off the now dancing screen. “Looks like you’ve got a little virus here. It’ll just take a few minutes to clean it up.”
If Damon were my type, I probably would’ve asked him to marry me that day. Instead, I promised to dedicate a song to him at my next show.
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