Wednesday, June 24, 2009

A Dog's Life

I've been thinking about dogs a lot lately. Correction: I've been thinking about getting another dog lately. A lot. I've even taken to browsing around on Pet Finder to see if there's a special dog that needs a home. While there are tons of special dogs that need homes, I still can't quite pull the trigger.

I mentioned that I was "jonesin' for another dog" on Father's Day and my brother, practical as ever, pointed out, "You'll completely lose your freedom." He has a point. A big one. Am I ready to give up doing me and only me to care for a new dog? I tell myself that I'll get an adult dog - puppies need more attention than I can give. This, I know for sure. But, what about walking, feeding, caring? I've done it before, won't I be able to do it again?

It reminds me of dating. I used to tell my friends when they'd accuse me of being picky that I can do alone. I don't want to, but I can. I'd rather wait for the right one than take any guy that happens to come along.

So, where do I start on this dog journey? And is it odd that the dogs I radiate towards look rather similar to Rufus? Is that bad? I think so. For months, I told myself, this was the very reason that I wasn't ready for another dog. But, now I'm wondering.....maybe it's just a taste thing.

The loss of freedom is real. I like the fact that I can leave my apartment in the morning and spend the entire day doing whatever I please without any thoughts of getting home to feed and walk a dog. But then, the other side hits me. I miss the company. I miss the connection to an animal.

Maybe it's because I'm not dating anyone at the moment. Could I really be that lame? It's true, though, that after Rufus' death, I realized how much his presence in my life mitigated the need for a man's presence. Will that happen again? Plenty of people have dogs and boyfriends, right?

I tell myself that Rufus was a special case. We had a bond - an extraordinary one. Will I have to love my new dog less in order to have a life? Maybe I'll just get one that's paper trained. Then, I'll have it all! A dog and a life! Hmmmmm.......